![]() I suppose we can chalk this movie up to yet another of Luc Besson’s personal fan-fictions he’s writer and producer on this project.The Warriors Gate was a film from Luc Besson, the French director of films like Nikita (1990), The Professional/Leon (1994), The Fifth Element (1997), Valerian and the City of a Thousand Planets (2017) and producer of dozens of others in the last decade including the Taken and The Transporter franchises.Oldest Trick In The Book: random pretty girl in the deserted woods asking for your help is not what she seems, especially if you are a lame-o.Jack Bronson: possible shout-out to Big Trouble in Little China’s Jack Burton?.That guy is a boorish lump you don’t speak about people that way within earshot. ![]() The timed leg-traps on the horse saddles don’t prove the loyalty of your horses, but they DO show how an anti-theft device can be employed on a dray animal.Hearing an Empress-to-be say “you’re the shit” as an accolade was bonkers.The fight against the mountain witch (Kara Wai) was interesting and funny.It’s in the IMDb page as “Zhoo” but it should be Tsu, Zhu, Tzu, Zu, or Zhou. Wait, Zhoo as a name doesn’t make any sense.There was a dance remix of Brownstone’s “Don’t Walk Away” in the end credits featuring the stoic Zhoo and the Empress’ Guard pop-locking in their armor.DAMN DAT CGI WAS BAD AND THE ANIMATORS SHOULD FEEL BAD.If you think that Jack Burton was the hero in that picture, you are wrong watch it again.Īnd to think I watched this instead of the Wonder Woman movie. Let the person for the job do the job right…like they did in Big Trouble in Little China. I don’t know if I’ve said this in another review, but this shit needs to stop. He knew he sucked, his mamma (a criminally wasted Sienna Guillory, The Time Machine, Resident Evil: Apocalypse) knew he sucked, but for some reason The Kid came thru as as The Guy. All so he can SAVE THE PRINCESS - bound, wearing flowing red robes with hints of skin - a reward for being the hero not even he expected to be. The bad guys pull their swings long before coming close to connecting, and wait for Jack to finish rolling around to NOT hit him with their swords. Not to put too fine a point on it, but I’ve seen better combat choreography in Bowfinger. Despite this, Jack is put forward as a hero for the whole picture. He is short on confidence, bird-chested, and lacks a presence even in his own hoodie. Zhoo learns to swim, dance, and have fun - because that’s what Jack had to bring to the table.Īs mentioned before, this movie smacks of White Savior syndrome: While Zhoo is the man better suited to be the hero, instead the Caucasian boy Jack is the hero of this picture. Along the way Jack learns how to survive, a little kung-fu and that being a warrior was INSIDE HIM ALL ALONG. It’s up to Jack and Zhoo to save her, with help from Wizard. Arun’s barbarian horde threatens the safety of Psuedo-China, and he wants to marry Su Lin to become Emperor. Slower than a barrel of molasses in wintertime, though…Īct 2 gives us more info about Wizard (veteran actor Francis Ng, The Bride with White Hair, Gen-X Cops) and Zhoo, where Wizard is a slob with phenomenal (read: script specific) magic powers and Zhoo was once a lifelong member of the seven Imperial Companions, now tasked with protecting Su Lin from Arun the Terrible (Dave Batista, Guardians of the Galaxy, Man With the Iron Fists). Arun the barbarian warlord, comic genius and all-around nice guy.
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